My Mother Was Right About Two Things

Of course she was right about a lot of things, but, two things in particular have had my attention lately.

First, she was absolutely, positively correct when she said I looked better with short hair. Which was exactly the kind of pronouncement that fed my reactivity as a young woman and kept my hair long for way longer than it should have been. Some women look marvelous with long hair. Emmylou Harris, Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep and my dear friend Tina Bennett can carry it off marvelously. Me, not so much. After fighting it forever, I am happily wearing my hair short and I know my mom is somewhere smiling. She never said I told you so, but, I'll give her this one. "Yes, Momma, you were right about the hair."

The second thing that she was right about has had a profound impact upon my life. It was really quite simple, she never failed to say, look it up, you'll remember it that way, whenever I asked her to tell me the meaning of a word. It used to aggravate me to no end, but, I learned much more than how to look up words in the dictionary. I learned to take responsibility for my learning and to love finding the answer to simple and complex questions.

I can't help but, believe that my mom would be delighted to know that her simple lesson blossomed into a life long love of learning that eventually led me to wildflower gardening! Which is ironic when you consider how very much she detested gardening. (The Faux Gardener)  I know that she is somewhere laughing with her sisters about the lesson she no doubt learned from her mother and passed on to me.

She was a wise woman, although it took me most of my life to realize how incredibly amazing she was. I am forever grateful for her look it up yourself lessons and all that it has brought me~gardening, a deep connection to the natural world and garden friends all over the world.

There is just one thing I want you to know... I love when you ask me to help you identify wildflowers! You must never, ever worry that it is a bother.  It never is... I love the hunt and I especially love discovering the answer.

Mystery gaura at Couchville Cedar Glade is Gaura filipes

Besides, I almost always get to learn about a new wildflower that might be happy in my garden...So, maybe, I need to thank you!
xoxogail

PS All flowers are Gaura lindheimeri cultivars (native to Texas and Louisiana),  except the last which is Gaura filipes, a native toTennessee and a few other states.

Gail Eichelberger is a gardener and therapist in Middle Tennessee. She loves wildflowers and native plants and thoroughly enjoys writing about the ones she grows at Clay and Limestone. She reminds all that the words and images are the property of the author and cannot be used without written permission.

The Faux Gardener

Let me tell you a story. It's a gardening story about my mother and a little about me. 

My mother never in her 83 years of living tried to give anyone the impression that she liked gardening. She didn't like the hot sun and wasn't the least bit interested in sweating.  She loved air conditioning more than fresh air. She was city girl through and through.

The year before she passed away, she moved to a retirement community, where she made new friends and participated in all the activities. She became part of a group of women called the Fun-shine Group. They were so popular the other residents wanted to sit with them. The tables were set up for four, but they always managed to squeeze in a few more chairs. She proudly told me about how the dining room staff had a special sign made just for their table. I think it said, "The Fun Shine Girls shine here. "

My mom was having a ball. Many times she would be too busy to talk.  I learned never to call on Friday afternoons...that was Happy Hour in the lounge! My sisters and I were tickled pink that she was blossoming.

I have no idea how she came to agree to help her good friends Jeri and Judy clean up the Rose beds, but she did. The grounds were lovely, but, the roses were looking poorly. Someone organized the day and got everyone gloves and tools. Imagine my shock surprise, when I heard my mom was going to work in a garden.

I didn't talk with her that evening, but, called the next day in eager anticipation to hear how she had faired at gardening! She told me all about it. How they cleaned out the old canes, weeded the beds and even how long it took.  Not one complaint from her! 

You can't imagine how excited I was to hear this tale; finally my mom and I would share an interest in gardening. I was off and running with fantasies of garden visits, planting containers and mulling over catalogues. 


Me: "Mom, did you have a good time? Did you enjoy gardening?"  
Mom: "You've got to be kidding,  I hated every minute of it! All the volunteers decided it was too hot and quit and Jeri and I were stuck cleaning the mess out all by ourselves." 
Me: "You mean you didn't like any of it?"
Mom:  "Absolutely, not!" 


My balloon was burst; we weren't going to be bonding over the garden fence, there would be no mulling over catalogues and  no garden strolls.   

Malva sylvestris 'Zebrina' will have to substitute for Hollyhocks for now!

Nothing  ever changed her opinion about gardening. She marveled at how much I loved to garden and how many plants I had stuffed into my yard.  When pressed she admitted that there was one plant she especially liked.  It was the Hollyhock, she loved the single ones in pinks, yellows and reds.   They must have been special for her to even know the name of a garden plant! 


I plant them every year, but, this year, I haven't found any of the singles. I'll keep checking the  nurseries. 
I love imagining  how much she would have enjoyed seeing them...from the house!


xxoogail
 


PS This is an editing of a Mother's Day post I wrote for Mother's Day 2008.  My mom had just passed away and it was a healing balm to tell funny 'Bernice' stories.  We miss her dearly and nowadays telling stories about her makes us all smile.

Gail Eichelberger is a gardener and therapist in Middle Tennessee. She loves wildflowers and native plants and thoroughly enjoys writing about the ones she grows at Clay and Limestone." She reminds all that the words and images are the property of the author and cannot be used without written permission.